How I dance with my words

I just love to put my feeling into words
Not to solely make any exaggerate thing
I just love to make it into something ambiguous and unknown

My mom keep saying I'm an introvert and closed person
I guess it so
I guess, until someone ask me why or suddenly I have some initiative to tell about my problem
I wont tell anybody

But when I guess I cant handle it and everything feels bottled up
I will put my feeling into words and dance with them.
Not make it clear, Just something random that can express my feeling. Explicit or implicit. Lol
Dunno why I just love it that why. Feels like making story. lol. jk.
You know.. the insecure feelings when someone hold your secret
No, Its not I do not believe in anybody

You could say its more like a trauma?
I guess I have it since my junior high when someone I think as my best friend "stabbed" my back and "threat" me to tell my secret to people. Tho it just simple little secret about teen girl problem. But still, I have problem when trusting people since then.
And I cant stop thinking may be I give them a "burden" when I tell them. Something like that.

Even if I already put my feelings into words in super ambiguous way, then I m still worried about what people may think about me when they read this. That s second. Yeah, my confidence is a mess. I guess I have kind of inferiority complex. Just see how many essay I made and trashed them down in my draft. Because I don't have any confidence to click publish button and an endless thought if my friends read them. Simple, right? But its hurt and hard for some people

Today I read my friend's post about why people post something ambiguous in exaggerate words and it make me think about my writing style when I post in here. Cmiiw if you read this. I'm too lazy to open that tab again.

Sometimes its not about they have trouble when they put their mind into words and make some readable thing in hi-literature.
But it just simply because of their personality. For me, its more like I enjoy writing like this, love to make a poem, daydreaming of what if this made into lyrics and last the real reason, the insecurity about my self like I told you before. How bout you?

Next time I will post about some random people though in an open discussion I found in random article about mind and personality. Not any big or serious, But it quite give a quite understanding, impression and some point a view that I agree about people with  random mind, personality, insecure people, etc, etc.

Ps: If you want to know why I always write in English tho its in a very poor way. Hmm.. Lets say I'm still studying to improve my English better. So, sorry not sorry then.
bye! pyong!